A lasting legacy – Ian’s family remember a kind and generous man

Ian Cant, Wallasey born and bred, was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma in October 2022, after a small lump, which had begun on his tonsil had grown visible in his neck. The news was even more upsetting for Ian and his family as the cancer had also metastasised into his lungs and spine.

It was explained straightaway that Ian’s illness was progressive and that his treatment would be palliative.

Ian’s older sister, Sandra, and his twin sister, Debbie, both lived ‘down south’ in West Sussex and Bath respectively, and they spent the next eighteen months up and down from the South East and South West to support Ian, together with their mum and dad, Colette and Frank, and Ian’s two grown up children Jacob and Sophie.

Sandra described her family and their experiences,

“Growing up we were just a normal Wirral family, lots of playing out in the street, a fair bit of scrapping but we got on reasonably well and enjoyed our childhood. I’m fifteen months older than twins, Ian and Debbie and we all attended St Mary’s College in Wallasey. Mum and dad did all they could to give us a good start in life.

As our own children grew up, we kept Wallasey as the point of the triangle which links our families. We always come together for special family occasions. My children, Georgia, Alexander and Olivia, with Debbie’s two, Joe and Flo, loved coming back to Wallasey to meet up with Ian and his children, Jacob and Sophie and our Mum and Dad. We are a close family.

When Ian was diagnosed it was devastating for him and us but, I have to say, Ian was determined to be positive and live as well as possible with his illness. Between bouts of chemotherapy Ian kept working as a social housing officer of the Wirral team of Riverside Housing, sometimes giving up his weekends to help vulnerable people in Riverside’s supported accommodation.

Around Christmas 2024, the staff at Riverside Housing Association dedicated the star on their Wirral office Christmas tree with a photo of Ian. ‘Ian’s the star of our tree,’ they told us.

They were very supportive throughout Ian’s illness and have stayed in touch.

To add to the family’s sadness, our mum, Colette, who had been living with dementia, passed away just before Christmas 2023.”

Sandra pauses, then continues,

“Ian was determined to be at her funeral and he wanted to carry her coffin but unfortunately he was not well enough.

Then, in February 2024, a month after mum’s funeral, we found that Ian’s cancer had grown in his spine which required an operation. Unfortunately, this surgery was not successful and it left him unable to walk unaided. Around this time, he was informed that there would be no further treatment for his Cancer as they had exhausted all methods of Chemotherapy for his particular cancer. Ian had radiotherapy, immunotherapy and chemotherapy but none were successful in defeating his form of cancer.

Under the care of the hospice’s palliative care consultant, Dr Helen Emms, it was agreed with Ian and the family that if a bed became available on Wirral Hospice inpatients ward, Ian would transfer there for specialist care and support.

Despite some initial worry Ian immediately embraced hospice care. The whole team were fantastic. Doctors, nurses, health care assistants, domestic and kitchen staff, helped by volunteers, made Ian feel right at home.

Occupational therapist, Katy, and physiotherapist, Miriam, soon had Ian able to use the Sara Stedy (Standing and Raising Aid) so that he could get out of bed and into his wheelchair. Ian loved his food, we would take some of his favourite treats in to the Hospice, but they also provided excellent food and would offer him lots of choice and seconds if he wanted it.

He was able to have soothing hand massages with lovely complementary volunteer, Helen, and as close family, Dad and I were offered and accepted this wonderful service too.

I also received some really helpful counselling support from the wonderful Elizabeth.

Dad, and all the family would sit with Ian during the day taking it in turns, or often sitting in a big group, to take him for a visit to the hospice’s friendly Hub café.

Sophie and Jacob had taken time off from work to be spend time with their dad, play music to him, read to him or just sit holding his hand. It may sound strange, but Ian was comfortable and seemed a lot less stressed throughout his hospice stay. It was a calm and soothing place, they were always checking on him, offering a relaxing bath or massage and managing his pain. We, as a family couldn’t have managed without their support.

As Ian became more ill he was moved closer to the nurses station. We were allowed to stay overnight in his hospice bay, with blankets, food and we all spent more valuable time being together, chatting, reminiscing and listening to Ian’s favourite music.

Ian passed away on 22nd April, 2024 around 8pm and we were all with him.

It was surreal but he was now at peace. The whole family was heartbroken.”

Sandra takes another pause,

“As things must, life goes on. We were so grateful for the kind, loving care we received both before and after Ian’s passing that we resolved to do whatever we can to support our wonderful hospice.

We set up a tribute site for Ian with Much Loved which allows friends and family to make a donation in his memory https://iancant.muchloved.com/

Ian also gifted money to the hospice in his Will and we passed on some of our legacy too.

We all sponsored a light in Ian’s name for the hospice’s Light up a Life commemorations and we attended the lights switch-on in December2024. It felt wonderful to be among so many people both remembering and celebrating the lives of their loved ones.

We laughed when we were called to say Dad, Frank, had won one of the smaller prizes in the Light up a Life marquee raffle.

A bottle of Jägermeister! Haha! Frank gifted it to the younger members of the family.

We keep all of the clothes and items we would donate to charity and when we drive up to Wallasey to see Dad, we donate them to the Wirral Hospice shops and we hope to keep contributing and making ongoing donations to the hospice as we know how important it was to ‘our Ian’ and to us his family as it made his passing more bearable. We all miss him so much.”

Ian was so clearly very special to you all, Sandra. Everyone at Wirral Hospice St John’s is so grateful for all of the lovely things you said about us and all of the kind donations your family makes to help us.

A heartfelt Thank You from the bottom of our hearts.

People support Wirral Hospice in so many kind ways as described in Ian’s story above. If you would like to investigate leaving us a donation in your Will and/or if you would like help to set up a Much-loved tribute site for your loved one please contact  fundraising@wirralhospice.organd our friendly team will be only too happy to help.